Laying Down His Life: How a Husband Should Love His Wife According to Scripture

One of the most deep connections we are meant to engage in on this planet is marriage. It is a holy covenant, not just a marriage or a loving relationship. Especially for husbands called to love their spouses as Christ loves the church—a love that lays down its life— Scripture vividly describes this covenant.
Ephesians 5:25 plainly and powerfully commands. This sort of love is selfless, unassuming, and sacrificial. It's about a readiness to humble oneself—even when things go wrong—not about perfection. It is about deciding to love, honor, and serve even in the face of human error.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her," Laying down his life for his wife does not always equate to a husband's magnificent, heroic acts. It's found in the daily actions of love and service—being present, listening, and putting her needs above his own. This kind of love calls for a great dedication to God, the source of that love, and his wife.

Accepting Mistakes: An Account of GraceSince everyone is flawed as a human being, we all trip through marriage. The beauty of this calling, though, is it gives grace room. John Piper, a well-known speaker, recently told me that even when spouses fail, they are asked to rise again in love, seeking forgiveness and returning it.

One husband related his personal tale of failure. Early in his marriage, he battled resentment and impatience, frequently placing his business and personal needs before his wife. Their relationship appeared to be about to collapse, and this pattern drew distance between them. Nevertheless, something changed when he really understood the depth of Ephesians 5:25. Loving his wife meant, he understood, not just loving her in the easy but also in the challenging times when forgiveness—from her as well as from him—was needed.

He started to own his deeds, his pride, and his own shortcomings. Though it took time, this change in viewpoint helped him to rebuild trust by consistently showing up for his wife in little but meaningful gestures. Laying down his life meant forfeiting his ego, his selfishness, and his desire to always be right, he knew. They discovered healing and their marriage grew stronger than it had ever been via this process.

The Authority of Grace Against SinThe biblical truth—none of us are without sin—resonates with this narrative (Romans 3:23). Husbands will fail as will wives. Still, those times of failing present a chance for grace. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he embraces the flaws and works to love through them rather than demand perfection.

Another well-known preacher and author, Tim Keller, stresses the need to see marriage through the prism of the gospel. Keller tells us in his lessons that spouses and couples have to show one another the same grace that Christ forgives us. It's about laying down your life daily, even if it's challenging, not about scoring points or carrying resentment.

An Every-Day Dedication to LoveLaying down his life for his wife means, for a husband, committing to her every day, not only in the major events but also in the ordinary and even when human sin surely results in mistakes. It's about showing up in the little deeds—helping the children, spending time to listen, and setting aside personal goals for the benefit of the family. It's about being ready to admit, "I was wrong," and "I'm sorry," meaning it from real humility.

Though marriage, as God meant it, urges us to interdependence, we live in a society that honors individualism and self-reliance. Protecting, loving, and serving his wife with the same unassuming love Christ showed for us is the responsibility of a husband.

When we consider these biblical realities, we should keep in mind that fidelity is the objective; perfection is not. A husband is invited to love his wife with the same unwavering grace and compassion as Christ loves us despite our sins. Even in the face of their shortcomings, husbands who accept this sacrificial love show to their spouses and the world the heart of Christ.

Finally, laying down one's life for a wife is about daily actions of love, humility, and forgiveness rather than great sacrifices alone. Understanding that grace covers all, even in our times of human frailty, it is a continuous dedication to live out the love of Christ in every sphere of marriage.